A month away from blogging.

I have taken a break from this blog because I thought it was getting a little out of control. I was being attacked from every side, I was accused of all sorts of terrible and untrue things, and it was hurting my relationship with Julian. As I'm sure everyone saw, he accused me of still being in love with someone else, and the reason that was the case was because people who commented on the blog put that idea in his head, or at least encouraged it. It took a lot of talking and a long weekend in London for me to calm him down. Yes, I actually did something and didn't blog about it or post it on VJ! Unbelievable!

So yes, we took some time to really look at our relationship and try to understand why we are doing what we're doing, getting married and settling in America. We really love each other and want to be with each other as partners, and we really don't care if people on VJ don't like us. We also won't stop posting on VJ just because people don't like us. All of the attacks have made us stronger and closer and even more in love than ever before. Just because you don't understand our relationship doesn't mean it isn't one that works for us.

And I saw Alex when I was there -- before you jump to any conclusions, Julian was with me and it was just dinner. I wanted to put all the old history behind me and really try to be his friend again. He has given me a lot of support over the past couple of months, after really despising me for a while. Many people have asked how he could go from being so hateful to so protective of me. I'll just say this. It's a cliche that love and hate are not opposites but are closer together than people think. Alex loved me once (or something like love) and although he still thinks us getting married isn't a great idea, he cares about his friends (yes, "friends", both J and me) and doesn't want to bring us pain. After Julian really talked to him about how important it was for Alex to stop hurting me both for my sake and for the sake of Julian and Alex's friendship, Alex pulled back. I think we're kind of at a stage now that I can live with.

I'm moving into the house soon. We closed on the house recently, but I have been kind of lazy getting the few things I have into the new place. It just feels so big and impersonal compared to my little apartment. Tibbs and I will feel kind of lost in there until Julian gets here. What else? Work is still going well, although Dana and I are absolutely NOT speaking to each other now. She complained to John, my boss, that I don't do anywhere near as much work as she does because I am constantly on the phone to Julian (my own phone, by the way, when I call him -- work does NOT pay for these calls). So John of course had to look into it, which was humiliating. John was pretty satisfied that I don't abuse my time here, but he asked me to make personal calls in an empty meeting room for the time being. Can you believe that? Dana of course thinks she's won. I hate that stupid bitch.


So that's about it for the meantime. I'm going to try to start blogging again a little since it really does help me get some of the stuff out that bothers me. I want to write about Jen and Jenn, who have been like the sisters I really wanted (not Rachel, who I'm STILL having problems with), but I really need to go to the Americana to go pick up this thing from Anthropologie for a friend's birthday party tonight. Maybe later.