Work IS a four-letter word.

Ugh. I have been at my desk now for over five hours and I am so overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I STILL have to do for the Dutch client. It's like it never stops! I think I mentioned a while back that somehow Marijke, the woman who I deal with a lot over there, somehow thinks I'm the only person who can do the work that needs to be done on this account, and she has convinced John, my boss that this is the case. John sees it as being really flattering to someone as junior as I am (I've only been in this job for a year and a half) but I see it as being really distracting from all the other accounts I have to work on with other team members.

Speaking of which, ugh. I am a little wary of typing this because she is about 6 feet away from me (but over the side of my cubicle wall so she can't see me actually typing) but Dana is just about the most annoying person I have ever had to work with. First of all, she is always complaining about how loud I type. I do NOT type loud. What does that even mean, type loud? She also brings her own lunch in, every single day, and it always smells strongly of garlic. No wonder she is still single -- all that garlic! Hummus, eggplant stuff, stuffed shells... Sure, maybe once in a while, but every day? Even having to smell egg salad would be an improvement. And she never comes out with us when Mary and I invite her to have sushi or go for a walk and a look around the stores. Ever. She said there was nothing for her in Forever 21 anyway, and I said, ummmm, that's not where we're shopping.

And there is this thing that is totally annoying me right now at work, and what's worse is I don't even know who's doing it! In our staff kitchen, we have a microwave, a fridge and a dishwasher. We're all supposed to clean up after ourselves and put our dishes right in the dishwasher after we use them, but people forget. I'm usually really good at it myself, but some people are lazy. Anyway, I often end up putting other people's plates and cups in there, and although I think I'm okay at doing this, someone else thinks they have a much better system of doing this, where everything is pointed in the "right direction" and grouped by type. Well, this someone has posted a notice about this and said that whoever (I guess me) is doing this improperly just needs to stop putting the dishes in if they can't get it right.

And while I'm at it, whoever has an issue with my dishwasher loading has also posted a notice on the cupboards to stop stacking the mugs "improperly" in there. I didn't even know there was a "proper" way of stacking mugs. This is what the note said:

"Whoever is the moron who keeps stacking the mugs DIRECTLY on top of one another (very unstable) instead of across needs to STOP doing this. For the third time this week, some have fallen out of the cupboard and broken. This is a waste of money and could get you or someone else injured. If you don't know how to stack the mugs, STOP TRYING TO HELP."

God, some people. It's only mugs! And only once has one fallen out on me, and it missed me. And yeah, it was in red letters, just like that.

I ran into Maven last night, which was nice but kind of weird. I suppose we might have crossed paths before and not realized it, after all. I mentioned this to Maven, and she said she had grown up in a city that was about the same size as Pasadena, and was always bumping into people there just after she had first met them -- they had probably been in the same places all along but never knew it. We were at Barnes and Noble -- she was waiting for her friend and I was wasting time before my hair appointment drinking a Frappuccino in the Starbucks.

So... I got my hair done! Finally. I think I love it -- it's very different from before. I used to be a dark strawberry blonde, and now it's kind of a medium-ish brown, with red and honey highlights woven in, very warm. I didn't get much taken off the length though. I think it looks fantastic, and a real difference to what I had before. I was really sick of my natural color. A real change.

Still haven't had time to look at any houses -- Julian is getting increasingly worried that I won't actually get around to this, and he has said to me that if he arrives here on his K1 and we do not have a family home that I have already moved into, he will be staying at The Langham Huntington until all is in order because he will not be living in my apartment again. If I wish to put my things and his into storage, I may move in with him. Actually, the idea of living in a hotel for a while is SO tempting! He said my place was fine for 88 days, but not for a lifetime; how I lived in a one-bed with no central air and an exposed cat litterbox was beyond him; and that time was wasting. I guess I'd better get on to it then.

Oh, and seeing Jen at the weekend! Almost forgot about it. She and I are going down to Venice to see Caitlin and have a barbecue. I asked Maven last night if she wanted to come, but she said that it would be kind of weird to meet these people having read so much about them, but with them not knowing she had read about them at all. (Did that make sense?) Also, she is going to Canada tomorrow morning for two weeks. She told me she was seeing Julez from VJ there. I didn't say anything, but I'm not crazy about that. Julez has been really rude to Julian on VJ, and I worry that maybe she will bad mouth him to Maven. Also, it's been so nice to have someone nearby I can talk to about all this VJ stuff who understands. I got so upset the other day I decided to take a break and I haven't been on there since yesterday morning. I think I just need for things to calm down a bit and then I can go back.

Wow, 2pm here and I still haven't eaten lunch. I guess I'll do that now.

Another happy day

Another quick post from me -- I'm getting better, I hope, at cutting down on the babbling on. SUCH a beautiful day here in Pasadena, a bit windy, but so nice. I went to the Paseo Colorado and wandered around the stores, and managed to buy too much makeup at Sephora. (Julian refers to Sephora as "The Mothership" since I manage to always gravitate to one if it's in the area.) I also wasted some time in Jigsaw and Coach -- I almost bought a new handbag but Julian has said I probably have too many bags so I resisted. I thought about going to see a movie at the new ArcLight there, but I hate going to the movies on my own. It just makes me feel like I have no friends.

Speaking of which, I called Maven today to thank her for listening to me yesterday night talk all about my worries about the K1 visa. She said it was nothing, and that she always enjoys meeting VJ members. I asked her if she might have time to meet up again this week, maybe for a craft night since she knits (she showed me some pictures of her finished objects and they are cute!) and I have my scrapbooking. She said she'd see what she had in her week and let me know. She said she might say hello very briefly tomorrow since she has to see her friend Sara who lives about half a mile from me. I hope she does; I'm feeling a bit lonely at the moment. Not only is Julian STILL 6000 miles away, Jen and Jenn are avoiding me. Jen at least still takes my calls, but Jenn has told me she is pissed at the way I am acting. She said she has had it up to here with my giving in to all of Julian's demands -- who I can talk to, how I can dress, what I do with my spare time. She told me that when I remember who Melissa is, I can call her. I'm glad I haven't told her about this blog, because now I can say this: Jenn is such a bitch. Why can't she see that I'm still me? If she loves me, she has to love Julian too. That's just the way it is. Maybe I'm glad to have a break from her.

Jen is talking to me, but every time we speak all she wants to talk about is Sean and how hurt he is by what is going on. I've told her again and again that I don't CARE if he hurts, since he put me in a situation where I almost lost my fiance. I told her that when she wants to talk to me about anything but Sean, she can call me. My mom called me today and said she sensed something was wrong with me, but I said no, nothing! And really nothing IS wrong -- I am just putting my foot down about how I feel about people and somehow people think that that is me being weak. I just don't understand that at all.

I told Julian all about my drinks with Maven and he seemed cautiously happy for me to have a new friend nearby. He told me to be careful not to tell her too many personal things before I know her well, because maybe she'll post things about us on VJ that might hurt us. I told him I didn't think THAT would happen. He said he would have preferred that I made friends with women my own age, but it's not like she's in her 40s or anything, and she has other friends who are my age.

So that's about it for today -- another good one. Keep them coming, and here's hoping my NOA2 arrives soon! I want Julian to come home to me right away. I miss him so much.

Drinks at the Snug

Wow! What a great evening with Maven (I kept calling her elmcitymaven on VJ, but she told me people refer to her as Maven on VJ). I promised I would keep her real name off of here so she will be Maven from now on. We ended up not going to the Blue Room after all, but to the Snug on Magnolia, because Maven said she got a little paranoid that I had posted on my blog (she is one of my readers!) that we were going to the Blue Room; she said you never know who reads these things. Not that she thought she or I would have a stalker, she said, but you never know how crazy people can be. Not a problem, except neither of us had ever been to the Snug, so we had no idea what to expect! It was a little loud later on, but we could hear each other pretty well.

Anyway, I wasn't sure what it would be like to meet someone from VJ, and I guess I kind of did think about what Julian said about people not being who they say they are on the internet, but Maven is a lot like what she really IS like on VJ, except she can swear (censored out on VJ) as much as she wants and is a little bit nicer, I think. She is also really small -- I wasn't expecting to meet someone shorter than me, but she's about 5 feet tall. Not how I pictured her at all! She told me I looked like I was a child, not anywhere near old enough to get married. :)

She told me a bit about her own visa journey -- she had lived in mostly London for 12 years, and had been married to two different English men. She and her second husband decided they were sick of living in London and wanted something new so they moved to America. Since they were already married AND living in the UK, they had a spousal visa called a CR1 and it took only 5 months to get. I told her I was jealous that she could live with her husband the whole time, and she said "You wouldn't be if you had to live with MY husband through that process. He was convinced the whole time that he was secretly HIV positive or had a conviction that he couldn't recall, or that they wouldn't like the cut of his jib at the interview."

This is also REALLY weird -- she was at Bristol too! She did a Masters there about 9 years before I did my year abroad. AND... her best friend there lived in the same block of flats I lived in while I was there! Neither of us could believe it, but it was true. She told me a little about what Bristol was like when she was there, and I did the same. It turned out we had two of the same favorite pubs -- The Coronation Tap and The Highbury Vaults. I said I could totally see her as one of the stressed out grad students we would see in the Vaults in the afternoons, and she laughed and said yes, she had been one of them!

She told me a little about some of the personalities on VJ, particularly in the UK forum, and who were her friends in real life there. She has apparently met about 10 people from VJ, and some of them have become very close friends. She had a lot of funny stories to tell about VJ people, and she told me who she couldn't stand at all, but I promised her I wouldn't say anything about that! She also asked me some questions about myself, about what I thought about my hometown, and what I thought of VJ in general and the visa process. She said she couldn't be a lot of help with the K1 process (K1 is the visa Julian and I are applying for), but she offered to be someone who would listen to my worries and fears and try to help with some of the things that have to be done when we get to the interview stage, since that is basically the same for the fiance and spouse visas.

She also told me she was a little concerned about how Julian seems to treat me on VJ and in this blog, although she said she was hardly going to tell me how to live my life. She said her first husband had been a bit of a bully when it came to her weight and appearance, and she found herself giving into a lot of crazy, manipulative behavior because she was blinded by love. I said I loved Julian the way he was, and that he isn't manipulative, he just happens to know a lot better sometimes than me about how to do things. Julian's just more practical than I am, that's just how it is. She looked a little uncomfortable, but said she would be here for me if Julian started acting like a "prat" once he gets over here.

I guess I started opening up to her, because I told her a bit about why J and I broke up in the first place. I haven't really wanted to get into this since it seems like it happened in another lifetime. Short version: J and I were members of an online forum, and Alex and one of his friends (or maybe it was just Alex, I still don't know) became members too, but using fake names. They made me their friend online and I was chatting away with them a lot. Then they started saying horrible things all of a sudden, like J was gay, and I was his beard; or that I was a golddigger and going to bleed him dry. At first Julian was so ANGRY he threatened to hunt the people down, because I was so upset; then Alex let him know it was him (and supposedly another friend) and all of a sudden J thought it was all so funny that I was taken in. I decided that I was sick of him choosing Alex over me and said that we were over, done with. We were all set to file the fiance visa but I never sent the papers. I let Julian know we were not going ahead. He said fine, he didn't care at all. There's a lot more, but it's a long story and although I told Maven a bit more about it, and about my more specific issues with Alex, I don't want to talk about them right now because I just want to focus on happier things.

I ended up giving her a ride home since she had been dropped off at the Snug by a friend and her husband wasn't around. Something is up there, I don't know what, but she just seemed a little sad when she talked about him and I told her then what I tell her now (since I assume she will read this!) -- sometimes it is just tough loving an Englishman! She laughed and told me yeah, she knew that TOO well! I came in for a cup of tea and I played with her sweet cat George. She gave me a hug when I left and she asked me if I had read her post about making sure women take care of themselves should something go wrong with their relationships. I said I hadn't really read it very closely, but I promised her I would.

So I have a new friend! How cool is that! Julian is calling me in half an hour and I can't wait to tell him all about Maven, since she is so funny and teases him about his money on VJ, saying she is going to be his mistress when he gets here. I have to say that at first that bothered me, but now that I know her, I know it's just her being silly.

Yay VJ! Yay Saturday nights! Yay getting to talk to my wonderful, wonderful, handsome fiance who I love more than anything else in the world. I love you, my Julian. I miss you.

Calmness

So, another couple of good days! Not much to report, really, which I think is a great thing. (I think.) Julian and I seem to have settled back into a normal routine of phone calls and texts, and we don't talk about the drama of last weekend. His work is going great after the acquisition, and he tells me all the time about how much he is looking forward to our new life together in California. His mother is of course not really happy about him leaving, but his father seems to think it's an opportunity for the business to grow in America. And of course any of the business things I would have to go to would be with Americans out here -- no more of the drooling minor "gentry"!

I shouldn't say too much about it, but it IS my blog, so can I just say how psyched I am to meet another VJ person tomorrow? (Oops today.) She's already been through almost the whole process, so I can learn a lot from her, but it would be so nice to have someone local to share my worries with. She's older than me, and was married over there in London and lived there for a long time, but I still feel like I have a lot to learn from her experience. (Hi elmcitymaven!) She and I are going to the Blue Room (again!) to trade tales. She teases Julian on VJ, which I think is so funny. J says it drives him crazy, and if he were her husband he wouldn't stand for some of the things she says. But she seems really nice in her messages and since she lives in Burbank (where I'm from) I think it could be fun. J said to be careful since you don't really know what people are really like on the internet, maybe she's really a guy! I said I would let him know and take pics if he is so concerned.

Anyway, at home tonight. Nice and peaceful -- a change for the better. I almost fear it could go away, but in the meantime I will like it for what it is. Just nice.