Sorry

I haven't posted in a while, I know. There are a couple of reasons for this, some happy and some I could do without. I think I'll deal with the not-so-happy ones first. I am sick of the really negative and frankly rude comments I get on here. I have been accused of sleeping with my fiance's best friend, being an attention-seeker, being a gold-digger, drinking too much, getting addicted to pills... and the list goes on. And on. And on. And it has started seeping over on to VJ, where I can't even ask a question any more without getting attacked. And when I had an issue with Blogger -- which I have complained about in the past, with comments getting turned OFF and blocked beyond my control -- I got accused of turning anonymous comments back on. I left all your hurtful comments up there so you can see how ridiculous you sound. I won't even comment on the people who were saying borderline-stalker things.

So here is the deal with comments. I know you are all DYING to comment on my blog since you seem to like doing it so much. I am turning comments back ON but I will approve them all. If you are registered, your comment will be approved and I will post it. If you leave a name, I will probably post it. If you do not leave a name, and the comment is not attacking me, I will post it. Those are the rules. I'm not doing this because I'm an attention whore. I actually liked reading people's opinions, and I feel like the current system isn't working.

That's over. Phew. Back to real life. Well, we got our NOA2 last week, and now our case is at the National Visa Center (NVC). It got there on Monday, so I'm really hoping it will get sent to the London Embassy tomorrow or Friday. After it gets to the Embassy, everything really starts happening! Going by timelines, I think Julian should be getting his interview in October. It's a real pain, because I wanted to have an outdoor reception at my parents' house, but I don't think that is going to happen now. Assuming he gets his visa in mid-October, he still wants to wrap a lot of things up before he leaves. Which means that he will probably want to wait until Christmas to come over here, unless I can convince him otherwise. I told him that he should start wrapping things up NOW but he said he wants to wait until he has the visa.

But in the meantime, he has his LND number (his case number at London), which he needed to book his medical. He has one in about 3 weeks time. He also has been getting together all the other things he needs, like his birth certificate and his ACPO police certificate. He is also getting his "jabs" as he calls them updated so he won't need to do them at the medical. One of the VJ ladies (Jill) posted some GREAT info on how to speed up the process a little, and Julian has now downloaded all the forms he needs to send off when the Embassy contacts him to tell him to send his "Packet 3" back. We're all ready, we just need that P3!

Everything is going along well with the house. We're closing next week, but I will probably not move in completely until the end of the month so Rachel and I can start decorating. Rachel has been a little bit of a pain recently about the house. She promised months ago she would help me with the decoration and she seemed so excited. But now she says she doesn't have time for it, that her screenplay needs to be rewritten and she doesn't know how she can possibly be expected to do what is a favor to me when she is so busy. Busy? Ha! I know exactly what she is up to because she is so sloppy. I know for a fact that she is seeing a married man now, and I think he has something to do with her screenplay because I checked out his Facebook profile and he is in the business. It was soooo easy to figure out what was going on. All of a sudden, this older guy appears in her friends list, and she starts commenting on all of his posts, really flattering him. And he leaves cryptic little notes on her photos. It is so gross. If my parents knew, they would FREAK. But I will not say anything for the sake of family unity.

Oh god, and then Rachel was asking me about Alex! She saw a picture of him and Julian and me AGES ago when I emailed her one from Bristol, and she kept saying how hot he was, and did he have a castle or something. God, talk about gold diggers! I told her that Alex's family had a country house, yes, but they lost a lot of their money ages ago, and I bet they would want him to marry a nice rich American girl. Which she wasn't then (she was struggling to finish senior year) and isn't now (bartender). But since she's my friend on FB, and Alex is back on my FB list, she can see his pictures and she sent me an email about him with the subject line "Yum." She asked if it was really true he was going to be the best man, and was he single because she said she would totally do him. I said that that was completely believable, because there was hardly a guy out there she WOULDN'T do. She didn't talk to me for a couple of days after that. And of course I told Alex, who thought it was all really funny. I need to keep an eye on them during the wedding; I don't put it past my sister to try to sleep with him.

Hmmm. What else? Not much at the moment. Jenn and I are trying to see each other more and get over some of our issues. We had dinner the other night over at her place and it was pretty great, and she even managed to seem happier that Julian and I are getting married. Work is going all right; now it's August, all of Europe is on vacation so it's pretty quiet. I spend a lot of time thinking about what to do about my wedding. I made a couple of calls to local venues to see what I might be able to get around Christmas. There was an opening at a venue I really like on the 18th of December; Julian told me to reserve it just in case so I have today. He said to start doing the real planning now, getting back in touch with all the vendors I have already spoken to and put down deposits. I don't like the idea of December 18th though, but the next Saturday is Christmas Day and I don't want that either. Just stuck. But I suppose I will just get used to it.

So that means this weekend I'll be rethinking colors. AGAIN. If it's Christmas, I want something richer in color, maybe plum or dark green, with cream. Blah. But once I do, I have got to get everything going with the florist, and the bakery and everyone else. The invitations have been ready to go for ages and since they're just black engraved on white card I don't have to worry about colors. I just have to commit to a date. I guess I better make up my mind.

I think I'm getting closer.

I thought it was about time I started giving some real thought to how I want my wedding to look. I guess in some ways I have always had a few ideas about the wedding, number one being that I absolutely MUST have the reception at my parents' house. When I was almost 5, we moved to the house my parents still live in. Dad had finally made partner and mom's residency was over, so we could afford to move from the little two-bed house we had in Valley Village up to Burbank. Mom was especially happy because it meant moving into the Burbank school system from LA Unified, which meant that she would be able to take Rachel out of private school and start me off in the public school system. (I always laugh when I think that both Julian and I went to "public schools" but they couldn't be more different!) Apparently when we moved into our new house, I said it looked like a "princess house" because it was so much nicer than our old little ranch house.

The house has a big backyard, and Rachel and I used to spend hours there playing make-believe in the treehouse and the playhouse. It is one of the happiest places I know. And because of that I want to have the reception there. I don't want this to be a fussy wedding, I want it to be joyful and playful and above all full of love. What I'm thinking about is having the ceremony (my mom is Unitarian, and my dad is Presbyterian, and we kids have always attended both churches, so I don't know which one to have it at) in the afternoon, like 2pm, and then have the reception at the house and the backyard, with all the French doors opened so people can wander in and out. I want to have white Christmas lights lighting up the trees, and maybe white paper lanterns in the trees too so when it gets darker it looks like a spell has been cast. Just simple and clean, all of it. A band that plays standards, and maybe some poppier stuff as the evening goes on. I just went out at lunch and bought a copy of the latest issue of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine and I can't WAIT to start looking through it for ideas. I have the colors though -- Wedgewood blue and white, like this:

So much change coming! And I need to start identifying possible houses to look at here for when J arrives; maybe we should just rent for a while so we can look together. I've been thinking I might ask him if I should get a rental house now so I can already be somewhere nicer when he arrives. We spoke this morning and he said he was so sorry about all that stuff that happened the other day, and I guess I'm over it. Maven came over to talk about it, and she said a lot of very kind things to me that I know were meant well, but I really thought about it overnight and I decided that I know Julian better than anyone else. It's just a bump in the road, as he said. Other people have gotten over much, much bigger things. Best to just keep moving on and forward!

Lunchtime ramble

The weather here in Pasadena has been so good recently -- nice and dry, and even a little cooler than normal. Cool enough that I could wear my favorite turquoise jumper (sweater to us Americans) that I got at Harvey Nichols in London last year. I swear I could live in Harvey Nicks and be happy for the rest of my life! So Mary and I are going to grab some sushi at Sushi Boat and then go for a walk around the Paseo. I'm also thinking about stopping by Bokaos and getting a hair appointment -- I know this is going to sound crazy, but I am seriously thinking about dyeing my hair! I mean, I love my hair color (strawberry blonde) but I kind of wonder what I would look like as a brunette. Not too dark or anything, just something different. Maybe more serious -- I could even start wearing my glasses sometimes instead of my contacts. (Julian says I should just get Lasik, because the glasses are a turn-off, except when we... oh, never mind!) Anyway, yeah, thinking about it!

Also getting closer to deciding on my wedding colors. I had wanted Tiffany blue and chocolate brown, and Julian wanted a paler blue and cream, and I think he's probably right, so now I'm thinking robin's egg blue and off-white. Just looking to find pictures of the right colors and I will post them! I'm not sure what the overall theme should be, but Julian told me it should be understated because his family would not understand "some big American production" and what a waste of money it would be. A lot to think about!

Oops, there's Mary -- I'll post some more later!

Too much work, not enough sleep

I've been working some late nights recently, trying to finish this project at work for a really demanding Dutch client. Interesting working with the Dutch -- they're really, really direct and some times it comes off as just plain rude! I'm learning how to translate what they say in English to American, so I don't get offended all the time. Most of the team I work with over there are very friendly and respectful of the fact that I also have a little bit of a life outside of the office, which includes weekends. This weekend was spent in the office, however, dealing with the increasingly insane deadlines that one woman there keeps setting me. They are trying to break into the American market with their product and although I am DEFINITELY not allowed to say what it is, I can say that I think it is pretty unlikely that it will take off in America. So I'm trying to come up with a way to market a product that I don't believe in, for a woman I think is nuts. And living with Not Enough Sleep.

There are a few plusses along with it though -- I am able to call Julian in the morning his time (we just got off the phone); the 134 is practically empty and I can get home from work in 20 minutes; and a lot of Chinese food delivered to work. I have to stop pigging out on the Sweet and Sour Pork though or I will never fit into ANY wedding dress that wasn't a tent! Speaking of which, Jen is coming with my mom and me this weekend to start looking for a dress. A dress! This is for real! Even though I still don't know when the wedding day will be, or even what colors we'll have. I wanted chocolate brown and Tiffany blue, but Julian said brown at a wedding sounded terrible. He kept referring to it as "shit brown", even though I kept correcting him about it. I really want a Christmas wedding, but frankly I'm open to having it sooner rather than later.

When we get the next piece of paper from the US Citizen and Immigration Service (USCIS for short, thankfully!) we'll have a better idea of when his interview will be. I'm on this great website called Visa Journey, an internet forum where everyone is applying for their loved one (usually fiance or spouse) to come to the US from overseas. SO much fantastic information there! Some real weirdos and some rude people, but the info is still great. Some person on there was really rude to Julian today and basically accused him of trying to buy his way into America!!! Can you believe it? I set her (her? him?) straight -- that we are in love and that is why he is getting a fiance visa. We're really lucky that Julian is well-off, but I don't like to brag about it. It will take a lot of strain off us though. We'll be looking for a Craftsman house in Pasadena to buy, and I will be out of my little one-bed here in what I like to call ghetto-fabulous Pasadena -- the wrong side of the 210. But it saves me $500 a month to be two blocks on the wrong side! Julian is I think a little worried about living here with me in what he calls "just plain ghetto, Melissa" until we get a house, so I get to start looking soon -- yay!

So I am still trying to come up with colors... Julian said he would like something understated and classic, like a paler shade of the blue I was thinking of and off-white. I'll probably go along with what he says, since I'm pretty useless at deciding things like that! Whatever happens, we'll have the reception at my parents' house in Burbank. It's kind of non-negotiable! I've always wanted to have my wedding reception there, ever since I was a little girl playing Barbie wedding. Julian is hardly a Ken, but that's a good thing! So much to plan... Jen is my maid of honor, and Jenn is one of the three bridesmaids (I wanted a small wedding party) along with my cousin Stella and Veronque, who is flying over here from Bristol. She stayed on after everyone graduated and designs jewelry.

So.... I guess among all this happy stuff I should probably talk about what went on with "Richard" who I can safely call Alex now that he outed himself. Alex, if you're reading this (and you probably are) you aren't scaring me. I spoke to Julian about this, and he said that he and Alex had had a great night at Club Gascon and that he had made it really clear that he was coming over to the US because it was a real adventure and because he loves me. He also told Alex that it was probably best not to "poke at me with an pointy stick" (I totally don't get the reference, but whatever) and to stop harassing me. Alex agreed to but clearly he couldn't help himself. I called J and asked how Alex could possibly know about my blog, and J said that maybe, accidentally, he might have let Alex know about it, and that maybe possibly they looked at it on Alex's iPhone in the restaurant. Alex apparently remarked on what a charming style of writing I had, and Julian felt that when he said that it meant that all was well between us. I nearly lost it -- how could he be so naive? Of course Alex was going to post something snarky.

I told Julian he better tell Alex to cut it out, but J said he thought MY response was OTT, and that he couldn't find anything really mean in Alex's post -- and that he thought it was funny! It was a good thing I had so much work to pour myself into, because I did not speak to J from Saturday evening until just now, when we just spoke (and made up -- yay!). I am going to try to do what Julian tells me to do and ignore it. I will really try, because I love him so much.