I think I'm getting closer.

I thought it was about time I started giving some real thought to how I want my wedding to look. I guess in some ways I have always had a few ideas about the wedding, number one being that I absolutely MUST have the reception at my parents' house. When I was almost 5, we moved to the house my parents still live in. Dad had finally made partner and mom's residency was over, so we could afford to move from the little two-bed house we had in Valley Village up to Burbank. Mom was especially happy because it meant moving into the Burbank school system from LA Unified, which meant that she would be able to take Rachel out of private school and start me off in the public school system. (I always laugh when I think that both Julian and I went to "public schools" but they couldn't be more different!) Apparently when we moved into our new house, I said it looked like a "princess house" because it was so much nicer than our old little ranch house.

The house has a big backyard, and Rachel and I used to spend hours there playing make-believe in the treehouse and the playhouse. It is one of the happiest places I know. And because of that I want to have the reception there. I don't want this to be a fussy wedding, I want it to be joyful and playful and above all full of love. What I'm thinking about is having the ceremony (my mom is Unitarian, and my dad is Presbyterian, and we kids have always attended both churches, so I don't know which one to have it at) in the afternoon, like 2pm, and then have the reception at the house and the backyard, with all the French doors opened so people can wander in and out. I want to have white Christmas lights lighting up the trees, and maybe white paper lanterns in the trees too so when it gets darker it looks like a spell has been cast. Just simple and clean, all of it. A band that plays standards, and maybe some poppier stuff as the evening goes on. I just went out at lunch and bought a copy of the latest issue of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine and I can't WAIT to start looking through it for ideas. I have the colors though -- Wedgewood blue and white, like this:

So much change coming! And I need to start identifying possible houses to look at here for when J arrives; maybe we should just rent for a while so we can look together. I've been thinking I might ask him if I should get a rental house now so I can already be somewhere nicer when he arrives. We spoke this morning and he said he was so sorry about all that stuff that happened the other day, and I guess I'm over it. Maven came over to talk about it, and she said a lot of very kind things to me that I know were meant well, but I really thought about it overnight and I decided that I know Julian better than anyone else. It's just a bump in the road, as he said. Other people have gotten over much, much bigger things. Best to just keep moving on and forward!