Stupid webinars

I had wanted to post something about the horrible little comment Alex left on my last post. I will certainly post about it later today. It's 12.22am here and I am on a stupid webinar about Asia. I drew the short straw so here I am, in my pajamas and eating ice cream, listening to people drone on about the main office's plans to expand in Hong Kong. And all the while his stupid comment is eating me up. How dare he?

Oh god, someone just asked me a question there. I realized just in time and was able to give a sort of answer. I was far away, thinking about Alex. Why can't he just let us be? It's 8.35am now in London and I have a real mind to call him when I'm done here. I want some answers from him, since Julian sent me an email an hour ago telling me not to call after my webinar, since I won't be done until at least 9am his time, and he is going to be in a meeting from then until 1pm, some emergency board meeting.

If I can stay up I am going to call Alex and tell him to leave me alone. I know he's still holding stuff against me from our time in Bristol, all that silly stuff about Miranda. It was so long ago. I doubt that's everything. I know he sees me as a bubble-headed waste of space, or some social-climber just after Julian's money. I don't CARE about Julian's money. I know there are plenty of women who would just see Julian as just one big pound sign, but I really don't give a damn about it at all. If anything, it seems like it's a bigger hassle than I want to deal with most of the time. His parents have all these expectations of me -- especially the one about having a son, which makes me feel like I'm in some Victorian novel. One of the reasons I want to be here in America and not there in England is that over here I won't have to be some stupid society hostess, throwing dinner parties and going to balls. I went to plenty of these stupid charity events during the six months I was there. They were so boring, and I always got stuck sitting next to a horrible old man who spent half the time spooning food into his mustache and the other half staring down my dress. Jocasta, Julian's mum, always did a debrief after these events, telling me where I had fallen short and how to improve since some day I was going to have to host one of these things. And during the events, she would hover nearby to make sure I didn't say something embarrassing. If I did, she would actually come close and put her arm around me and then pinch me!

I think this webinar is drawing to a close, thank god. Almost 1am and I am exhausted. But I am going to call Alex if I can stay awake. I hate Alex. I just hate him.