I wanted to post yesterday about how I feel like I had a breakthrough with getting along with Alex. And then I got the worst news. I have been logging in to the USCIS website to get updates on our case, and there have been touches. Lots of them, as I said before. But this time, there was something new. We had an RFE, a Request for Evidence, just like I thought might happen. Everyone on VJ has been so nice about this, really supportive, telling me that it isn't the end of the world and it will only slow me down a few weeks.
I know they mean to cheer me up, but at this point a few weeks feels like a few YEARS. We have taken so long just to get here, went through two break ups (one which I thought was for good), and some other difficult stuff. I have tried to stay cheerful and positive (especially on VJ, where I feel like people enjoy attacking each other) but it has been so hard and I have failed to stay optimistic. Repeatedly. First, I couldn't reach Julian. I tried calling him, texting him, emailing him, and I couldn't reach him. He hasn't been on VJ in days so I couldn't even count on him looking at my posts. I know he had a work thing to do last night (his time) so that was part of it. I just wanted him to tell me it was all going to be OK, that this was just a bump and anyway he is coming here in under two weeks.
I tried until midnight his time, and then he called me back at 7am his time. I hadn't said in any of my messages what this was all about, because I wanted him to hear it from me. He asked what was going on that I called him 16 times last night when he had made it clear that he was at a business dinner and that if there were any real emergencies I was supposed to call his mother. (Believe me, I thought of that, but I can't bring myself to call her if I can avoid it.) I told him I had some really bad news.
J: Melissa, darling. What is it? Who died?
M: Oh Julian, I've been so stupid. So incredibly stupid. At least I think it was me. Maybe. I don't know.
J: Calm down. What did you do? Please, please don't say this has anything to do with Sean.
M: No! It's just... oh, Julian! We got an RFE!
J: What's an RFE?
M: You said you read all the guides on VJ! Oh Julian, it means that my petition hasn't been approved! I must have forgotten to put something in the package and they can't approve anything until I fix it.
J: You told me that everyone gets approved. Everyone! What did you do wrong, Melissa? How could be so bloody STUPID? I can't believe this.
M: I didn't mean to! I checked everything six times!
J: Well, you should have checked it seven times. Or had me check everything before I left California. You were almost finished with putting things together at that point. I could have checked it for you, and made sure it was perfect. I cannot believe I trusted you to do this. My mother was right -- I should have hired a lawyer to do this, not indulged you and let you be in charge.
M: Julian, I'm so sorry --
J: And now we're caught up in this system! This bloody typical American bureaucracy, all the red tape that goes with anything having to do with the government. You would not believe the red tape we have to deal with whenever we do a deal over in the States. It's ridiculous. And now you have stuck ME in the red tape because you can't read directions! It's probably because I'm British -- they probably have some Yank mentality about how many British people are allowed in. And this BP palaver certainly can't be helping.
M: Julian, I'm sure it has nothing to do with BP!
J: Yes, I KNOW that, Melissa. So, what do I need to do to fix this new disaster of yours?
I explained that all we can do is wait until we get the paper notice, which we will hopefully get before the week is over. He told me he wanted to call USCIS and demand an explanation, but I said I thought he probably wouldn't get any info that way. He said he was going to try anyway. He said he was too angry to speak to me any further, and I went to bed feeling like I had really failed.
Today I have tried to think positively about all of this. I stayed away from VJ (mostly) because it is too painful to see everyone else getting approved without an RFE. Julian and I haven't spoken yet but he sent me an email telling me that he called USCIS and he couldn't get anything out of them.
So now we sit and wait. And wait. My doctor's appointment is on Thursday and it can't come too soon. Pat, my neighbour, offered to roll me a joint and I said yes. It's sitting on my table in front of me and I think I may just have to have it. I've already smoked a pack of cigarettes today (VERY bad) and I have had half a bottle of wine. So what. Maybe getting drunk and high is what I need right now. I'm already a complete fuck up, why not keep going?
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GROW. UP.
ReplyDeleteYou're not a "complete fuck-up" just because you got an RFE. Seriously, why do you let him treat you like that? You ring him upset about it and he turns all the blame onto you? Jesus Christ, grow a backbone. How does he know the RFE isn't because he didn't sign something?
I don't know how many times you need to be told that Julian treats you like a worthless piece of shit before you actually realise it yourself.
You don't know Julian like I do. He really, truly loves me. We have been through so much together and we are still together after almost four years. Maybe I describe him wrong, I don't know. But I understand he only tells me these things because he cares about me.
ReplyDeleteHe only tells you you're "so bloody stupid" because he loves you? Seriously?
ReplyDeleteHe can't blame you for the RFE. He says he should have checked it - well, yeah, he should have. Why didn't he? And why didn't he read the guides? Seems like you're doing all the work and he just gets to sit back and blame you when things go wrong.
Isn't he allowed to get angry? I got angry. I was really upset for letting both of us down. I didnt let him check the package because I was so sure I got evreything right and I checked it so many times. When it's his turn at the next stage I will make sure he does it all on his own.
ReplyDeleteI can't beliueve I am even still up and talking about all this but I drank all the wine and I guess I just feel like I have to talk or something.
I think it's more that he doesn't understand how minor it is...getting an RFE is a pain in the ass, but it's not a big deal as far as it's not like a denial that needs to be overcome. It's a VERY common occurrence and can happen for the littlest stupid things like writing down a wrong date, signing the wrong line. All it will do is delay things by a few weeks.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, I think you made it sound like a bigger deal to him than it actually is. Now it is a big deal, but only in the sense that it's frustrating. Not that it's hard to handle the technical aspects. It's literally just sending in some sort of documentation. Have him read this comment or tell him next time you talk.
When you send in your package, write in big letters on the envelope RFE so the officer getting it will know and usually they approve it the next day or so because you are so close to being approved that it's very easy for them to just put their stamp on it.
Lawyers for regular processing are generally useless...you can tell him that too. They are only good for people who have complicated cases needing waivers or in tough consulates in third world countries, in general.
It's NOT a disaster...just an irritating hiccup. I'd compare it to if you forgot to buy something at the grocery store that was key to a special meal you were making. You have to go back and get it, but once you get it, you're fine. Sure you feel dumb and your guests will have to wait awhile longer...but it'll be okay. The lawyer is the guest who offers to go out and get it for you and brings back the wrong item!
oh: and USCIS is useless over the phone. I think they will only make Julian pissed off. Remember that the people you talk with are contracted employees who read off a script...
ReplyDeleteJustine, thank you SO much. I keep trying to remember all these things but I just feel so overwhelmed sometimes with all the things that are happening right now. I like your food analogy! I will try to tell Julian that or get him to read this (he is not reading the blog right now).
ReplyDeleteI was just so excited because I really made a breakthrough I think with Alex and then this happened. It was like all the good stuff was gone. :(
It's emotional. No one would deny that...when David's visa got stuck for a few weeks because nobody had asked him to pay for it even after we sent them a check and that first day when I called DOS...
ReplyDeleteMan.
I had been up after a long day at work and had to go this education class and during the break, I called DOS, got the bad news, and right afterwards burst into tears. I knew we were going to get the visa probably in a few weeks, but having no control over it all and no timetable is awful (it took them more than month to process the damn check too!). No one can understand unless they've been through the process and too many on VJ I think forget too quickly how hard it is to deal with the process with bumps in the road, especially during this part, where you're away from your loved one and you're still new to US immigration. It's really too bad how so many people get cynical to the whole thing...
So, it's emotional, it's irrational, it's awful. But the good part is that this can be easily fixed.
I hope you get it in the mail soon!
Oh gosh. Thank you Justine! I feel alone sometimes in this. The VJ people, even those who mean well, just seem to forget how HARD this can all be at this stage. How did you do it? Keep it together? I am so lucky he will be here in 10 days. If it's something stupid like proof of relationship he can bring stuff. It seems crazy we have to prove that since we lived together for six months! If it's a signature I can do that on my own unless it's on his G-325a. Going nuts waiting! xxMelissa
ReplyDeleteSweet baby Jeebus!! Were you two separated at birth? We're talking about paperwork and a little bit of waiting here, not famine or genocide! Get a sense of perspective FFS!
ReplyDeleteMelissa, hun, when you write down these conversation, are they accurate? Is this seriously the way Julian speaks to you? I think it's normal to feel upset at oneself for possibly making an error, but it's NOT normal for one's partner to criticize, berate and chastise them for having goofed. When, Melissa, are you going to learn that your relationship with Julian is not "normal"? That's why you get the kind of comments seen on this blog. I don't think you realize at all that reading your words actually makes people wince as they read your accounts.
ReplyDeleteReading this blog is the equivalent of watching Jerry Springer.
ReplyDeleteIt is absolutely unacceptable the way he talks to you! But, on the other hand, you completely enable him. How you resolve the way it makes you feel when he treats you like this is by taking his side, and justifying his actions. He SHOULD be that angry, I DID mess everything up, etc. You need to stop doing this! So you got an RFE, this is when he should be supportive of you.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like you blame everything on the stress of the situation and on being far apart. I will agree with you, going through this process is NOT easy, and it's so much harder when the one you love is so far away. However, let me tell you that it's not just smooth sailing after your visa is approved. You are going to have many challenges in front of you, especially while he adjusts to his life here. Honestly, if it's like this for you now, I predict disaster as soon as the honeymoon period is over. I wish that I could offer you some advice instead of just criticism, because I genuinely do feel bad for you and hope for the best for you...but frankly I just think that no one is capable of changing to the extent that the two of you need to change to make this work.
I would like to add to the post above that I hope you keep your blog around and I hope you can prove me wrong!
ReplyDeleteMelissa, I'm sorry you didn't find support from the one person who should give you unconditional support and encouragement. It doesn't count if he apologizes later and throws you a bauble. The pain you felt has aready been inflicted and you didn't get the comfort when you needed it most. So you turn to a bottle and weed because your fiance wasn't there emotionally for you. So, so sorry this happened to you. You're fragile and need a protector and defender who will always be available and make you feel good. That sounds like how you describe Sean.
ReplyDeleteGetting an RFE sucks, but not the end of the world. Saying weeks may as well be years really slaps those with real immigration issues in the face.
ReplyDeleteAre you aware that they sometimes issue an RFE for something in the initial packet? It could very well be not your fault at all. You and Julian are manufacturing drama. Pull yourselves together and stop the freak outs.
I think the commenter from 6:16AM may have actually been Sean. See how fragile you are, Melissa? See how you need a big strong man like Sean in your life? Pathetic. If you love Julian, and want to be with him, your choice, but don't give him up just because Sean's closer by.
ReplyDeleteAh, the drama critics are back en masse. Running low on old ladies to kick or children to pinch?
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure why I'm bothering, but you might have noticed that my dear Melissa is a bit prone to exaggeration. I never called her stupid or anything of the sort. Yes, I did rant about the bloody stupid American love for red tape because, well, it *IS* bloody stupid and you Americans do seem to love it except when it impacts you personally. And yes I was angry because she had assured me that 'everybody is approved,' but although I called the process stupid, I never did, and never have, called her any such pejorative as 'stupid' or otherwise. I only wish I'd gone with my first instinct and just hired a lawyer. At the very least I wouldn't have to deal with you lot. So sorry to knock the wind from your sails. As I said, Melissa is prone to a fanciful imagination and, quite honestly, sometimes hears what she wants to hear. We continue to work on this and other issues, as any normal couple does. Really people, there is nothing here to see.
RFEs can even happen because USCIS *lost* things you already sent them.
ReplyDeleteJulian - an RFE does not mean you won't be approved.
ReplyDeleteI know what an RFE is, 'Anonymous.' It's not exactly a step in the right direction either, now is it?
ReplyDeleteits not a step backwards.
ReplyDeleteOh that's rich. It's a step backwards by fucking definition!!
ReplyDeleteJulian, stop sounding so reasonable and rational. You're making me fall for you.
ReplyDelete"By definition" an RFE *is* a step in the right direction. You provide the information they want, they approve your petition. Simple.
ReplyDeleteHow exactly is it a step backwards? This is a molehill compared to other immigration woes. It's very very typical and common.
ReplyDeleteThat it's common doesn't surprise me. Forgive my bluntness, but every dealing I've had with American government, mostly through business, has been fraught with red tape. Undoubtedly Melissa didn't use the approved shade of black ink when filling out her forms in triplicate, or perhaps the corner of a document nobody is ever going to read is dog-eared a millimetre beyond what is permitted by sub-section eighty seven thousand of the USCIS code. So pardon me if I don't share your glowing optimism. You can play word games all you want, but the fact is that our petition is now STOPPED, not moving forward, awaiting some mysterious further action that we're not even allowed to know until the required document makes it through the wonderfully 'reliable' American post office. Tell me 'Anonymous,' have you actually gone through one of these oh-so-common RFEs, or do you just fancy yourself an expert on things that happen to other people?
ReplyDeleteWow, now who's exaggerating?
ReplyDeleteI must ask, if you really believe that Julian loves you and treats you well, then why do you print every word that was spoken, when you must KNOW how bad it sounds? Are you wanting people to feel sorry for you? And before you just deny it, why do you always portray it as:
ReplyDelete'Oh Julian, I am SO sorry, I am not good enough!'
'What on Earth have you done now Melissa, you silly little girl? You're so stupid, argggghh!'
'Oh but I don't mean to be, please don't hate me'"?
'STUPID GIRL!'
Really? Especially seeing as Julian has said that you've exaggerated parts of it. Are you sure you're not purposely portraying him as a bad boy and you as the victim?
FYI - an RFE takes days to fix most of the time. Try going through the process a couple of years back when it was taking 6-8 months to get approved or the RFE. You're actually incredibly lucky to have only waited 2 months, and having your fiancee visit you during the wait, and having a new house, car etc given to help your new life together. That's not jealousy, that's simply a comparison to most people.
You Julian as well make an RFE sound like the worst thing that could possibly happen to you. You guys are like two peas in a pod!
ReplyDeleteYou people, hiding behind your 'Anonymous' comments. If you're going to criticise then at least have the fortitude to post your VJ name. At the very least pick some random name to post under so you don't all look like a schizophrenic ball of string.
ReplyDeleteAs I've said before, most recent 'Anonymous,' I've never called Melissa stupid, and I do NOT treat her as you have insinuated.
I said Melissa PORTRAYED you as treating her a certain way and then runs to deny claims that you're a bully.
ReplyDeleteDid you? Or are you a different 'Anonymous'?
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I've posted is the comment about Melissa portraying you a certain way (which you claim isn't true), and then getting offended when people call you a bully. Why is she exaggerating when she knows that everyone is going to rush to her side? Or have I answered my own question?
ReplyDeleteI agree, it is hard to carry on a conversation with multiple people when we all have the same name. But now I think it's funny!
ReplyDeleteJulian, just a question for you. How are you going to react at your visa interview if the CO asks you for something you didn't bring? Are you going to rant about American bureaucracy? Have you started preparing for that interview? Have you ordered long form copies of your birth certificate? Have you ordered your UK police certificate from ACPO? If you've lived in another country for more than 6 months, have you ordered a police certificate from that country? Have you evidence of your relationship with Melissa to take to that interview?
ReplyDeleteJQ
Oh I see. You, 'Anonymous JQ,' think that because I'm unhappy about this RFE that I will therefore forget all the rest of this process and then break down into a ranting tirade when I am asked for the police report that I have inexplicably decided is not necessary in my case. I will then scream and roll my eyes at the very suggestion that I should have to provide evidence of my relationship with Melissa. Yes, you've really nailed it, good job.
ReplyDelete[I think the commenter from 6:16AM may have actually been Sean.] No, it's from me Annie. Sean sounds nice and she feels secure and protected with him. He's like a brother. I'm not suggesting anything, just that he's the kind of man I think would make the better husband.
ReplyDeleteNo Julian, that is not what I have decided. I decided nothing. I asked you a few questions. Are you able to answer them? Or is the lack of reading comprehension due to the fact that you yourself are not prepared for the next step or your immigration to the process? Have you ordered your birth certs? Have you ordered your ACPO? Do you have passport photos? Do you have relationship evidence? Are you ready?
ReplyDeleteJQ
Ahhh Johnny boy, I didn't recognize you hiding behind your anonymous burka. Well yes indeed you did ask me a few questions, and as usual you were disrespectful so I returned the favour. But really, what business is it of yours what I've ordered and what I haven't? It would be one thing if you were in our corner, but it's quite obvious that you're rooting for failure. So please do piss off. I'm sure somebody somewhere needs Johnny Boy's helping hand, they're just not here.
ReplyDeleteJulian, you really are a rude son of a bitch. Johnny is one of the most helpful and knowledgeable people on VJ and you're just spitting in his face. I can't figure out why Melissa wants to be with someone as contemptuous, arrogant and rude as you.
ReplyDeleteJerry! Jerry! Jerry!
ReplyDeleteI *heart* this blog. Not for the reasons M might hope, LOL
Hahahahahahahaah Julian you really are just a worthless bit of spunk. You can't answer the fucking questions because you aren't quite as ahead of the game as you want Melissa to think you.
ReplyDeleteJQ
Oh my god, 43 comments? I have not looked at the blog comments all day until now. Oh god, maybe I should close comments again. I don't know.
ReplyDeleteJulian is right, I probably remembered it wrong that he called me stupid. I just heard it that way because I was so angry with myself. He's already organized his birth certificate and will be sending away for the police certificate soon. He's much better about these things than me.
And whoever said I should be with Sean is WRONG. Dead wrong.
I wonder what will happen if the RFE is because of something that is Julian's "fault."
ReplyDeleteI bet somehow it'll get turned back around as Melissa's fault.
*gets popcorn, waits*
This is better than any TV soap or reality show. And no commercials!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you see my life as your entertainment. This is REAL. If you want entertainment, I'm sure you have a TV. Everyone may think I am making a big deal out of this RFE, but you all seem to be forgetting what it was like when you were in the process and how difficult it is to be apart!
ReplyDeleteOh no! Someone call the waaahmbulance!
ReplyDeleteOh man, seriously, this is just... THE BEST. I don't need TV when I have this blog.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, Melissa, I don't think anyone's forgotten how difficult it is to be apart. I'm moving within the next couple of weeks and it's still hard even though I know I'll see him soon. Yes, we had hurdles, no RFEs but we were stuck in NVC with no idea as to how long we'd be there. But it was never enough to push us to drink and weed like a snotty little chav teenager.
As people have pointed out, there will be a LOT more changes once Julian's over and it's glaringly obvious that neither of you are mature enough to cope with them. Oh, and there'll be a ton more paperwork. I wish I could be there at the Social Security Office when Julian gets to talk to someone who isn't trained to know that K1s are eligible for SSNs.
You're making this all into some huge drama, when it isn't. Save it for the things that matter. The only time I came anywhere near to this level of stress was when my fiance was in a bad car accident and I was 3500 miles away. If there's anything to make you feel helpless, it's that. This RFE will cost you a few weeks, tops; and Julian should be grateful for it - it gives him a few more weeks away from those filthy Americans he so clearly hates.
This is waaay better than TV.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for the episode where Julian goes to a Social Security office and talks to someone who isn't trained to know that K1s are eligible for SSNs.
You should be grateful for this RFE. It'll give Julian another few weeks away from those filthy Americans he so clearly despises.
Oh, so you had to have that dig at me twice? In slightly different ways? Really? God, why can't anyone have any compassion for me. I have the day off tomorrow to see a doctor because I am so sick with anxiety about a lot of different things in my life. Just because you're anonymous doesn't mean I don't feel anything when you say such hurtful things.
ReplyDeleteABLOOBLOOBLOO
ReplyDeleteThe Social Security Office? Oh hell, I want to be in their kitchen the first time they run out of coffee!
ReplyDeleteMelissa: Julian, we're out of coffee!
Julian: What the bloody hell do you mean we're out of bloody coffee you stupid bint?
Melissa: Oh Julian, I'm so sorry I'm such a stupid bint! I guess I accidentally bought road flairs instead of coffee.
Julian: Well it's those bloody American shopping markets again, I can't believe they sold you road flairs instead of coffee! What a bunch of bloody American wankers!
Melissa: Oh Julian I think I need to have a lie-down now, but I've forgotten where the bedroom is!
Julian: It's down the hallway you stupid bint! Leave it up to those bloody stupid American construction workers to put a bedroom down the bloody stupid hall!
Melissa, pay no attention to these fools. You know what we talked about the other day. If you want to give me a ring to talk about this, I'm already at my desk. This will be a difficult day for you, and I'm available to discuss this, as you know.
ReplyDeleteAlex
I cn
I meant to say I can't get this bloody OpenID thing to work but it is me, Melissa.
ReplyDeleteAlex
Alex, thank you SO much. It's probably to late for me to call. I'm so tired. It's good to read one (two?) friendly comments though. I'm so happy we are working out our problems and we can try to be friends again.
ReplyDeleteStill don't quite get why Julian forced you to make up with Alex. Maybe he'd like it if you were BFFs with all the other guys you've slept with? Oh, wait, I forgot, it was just another way for him to control you.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever stop to consider that Melissa and I used to be friends? I have decided, WE have decided, that in her current state of mind the less stress she has the better. I look out for my frIends, and Julian needs her to be stable right now. I am putting the past behind me to help him, and right now that means helping her.
ReplyDeleteNo one forced me to make up with Alex! He and I have a lot of history, more than I've even written about! I am HAPPY to have Alex back as a friend. We have had a very rocky friendship, it's true. But I haven't been totally truthful that we were never friends again after he dumped me. We were but I was so angry with him when I started this blog I didn't want to tell the truth. I guess I just wanted everyone to dislike him as much as I did. And he has forgiven me for that! When Julian and I were broken up, he was very kind to me. He even came out when I had broken up with Noah because I was so alone. He showed me kindness when I needed it. There! That's the honest truth! Happy?
ReplyDeleteMelissa, it's best if you stop now. There are still some things best left unsaid. This could cause Julian some harm. Email me if you don't wish to talk. Don't let's play this out on your blog.
ReplyDeleteWell now you've admitted lying in your blog, I just don't know what to believe anymore.
ReplyDeleteI am far from happy now! You lied! You lied on the INTERNET! That's the worst kind of lying!
Leave her alone, mate. She's having a hard time of it as she is. She's been unclear and indiscreet but she hardly deserves this. She is a bit naive, that's all, but that's hardly reason to attack her. I've been unfair to her, and I've apologised. She's accepted my apology, and I hers. We are trying to be adults here.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like when someone tells you the truth, you think you are being attacked and no one has any compassion for you. Why would someone have any compassion for you? You have so many small "problems" in your life which you mostly create by yourself and exaggerate most of the things.There are a lot of people out there wishing they would have problems like yours. Grow up. It's time. You think ( and write)like a 15 year old teenage girl. This is advice not attack.
ReplyDeleteWhat a cowardly lot all of you 'Anonymous' people are. Christ, even Johnny boy doesn't sink to your depths. Attack a woman and then hide behind the veil of anonymity. None of you know what we're going through, and it seems none of you actually understands what an RFE is. Pathetic.
ReplyDelete^ this post is brilliant and is bang on accurate.
ReplyDeletepretty much everyone knows what you are going through thanks to this blog :P For sure everyone knows who your fiancee is sleeping with and when and who had the best fuck ever. Classic. JULIAN THIS IS PATHETIC and i thought you are the one with the brain...gosh...
ReplyDeleteFuck off 'Anonymous.' She's not sleeping with anyone but me. What's pathetic is you and the other minions hiding behind anonymous comments.
ReplyDeleteIn reading the drivel in the comments section, I am pleased it is not I who will be moving to the States but Julian if it is amongst you he must suffer to live. (Sorry, J, it's true.)
ReplyDeleteYou're the pathetic one, mate, attacking a woman who is going through a mental crisis. Melissa is not sleeping with anyone else but Julian. How dare you impugn her character when you don't even know her?
Alex! Glad to see you mate, answer your fucking SMS! :) Drinks?
ReplyDeleteOh Julian you are a such spoilt brat. How did you feel reading that your best friend had the best fuck ever with your soon wife to be? Was it nice to hear it from your BEST friend? Have you been proud of her sharing it with everyone? I don't think the people who are anonymous are pathetic. What the purpose of them telling you who they are. This is the part of writing a blog and letting people do that. If you don't understand it then I don't know what world you are living in. PATHETIC is the type of exposure we are all getting here....for some it is even entertaining.
ReplyDeleteSure. Still at my desk. Cheshire Cheese, 8pm?
ReplyDeleteAn RFE is actually proof that your case is moving!!!! Usually after you send them whatever they are asking for-it's approved within a week or so!
ReplyDeleteI got an RFE. And the RFE was for something that didn't even apply to us---it was the IMBRA law fiasco...LOL...what a cluster that was...and......it didn't even apply....LOL.
It's waiting, red tape, but look at it this way. Your file has been looked at and updated. They are waiting for a response and your file is now on another pile that is smaller than the first. Hope that made sense.
Oh BTW it took 7 months from sending to get the RFE and a week after sending a form to them stating IMBRA did not apply to me to get approved.LOL-IMBRA???!!! WTF_like I would petition multiple ppl.....LOL.
Don't come undone. Your file is moving!!
On another tack. I don't get the Alex turn around at all, but if it's helping....that's good.
As for the Sean situation, why are you keeping a friend around who obviously has feelings for you and causes unease to your fiance?
Also, why would you amplify Julian's reaction on the RFE to make him look like a douchebag?
Either way. Unknot your knickers, chin up send the USCIS what they want and move ahead.
It really is no big deal.
Go to the doctor's....I honestly think you...the owner of this blog- would benefit in alot of ways ( some more subtle than the others).
tmma-vj
Alex, I don't think Melissa is sleeping right now with anyone else. I meant to write "who she slept with"etc.
ReplyDeleteI don't think she is sleeping at all..... :|
ReplyDeletetmma-vj
A, see you there! (and oh turn your mobile on eh?)
ReplyDeleteHey Anonymous of 10:32am, I'm off for drinks with my best friend who used to have a relationship with my fiancee, so stick that in your arse and smoke it.
This is Annie in reply to Melissa says "And whoever said I should be with Sean is WRONG. Dead wrong." No Melissa I didn't say that you should be with Sean. I said he was a friend. To clarify, your description of his caring nature and feeling like you had a big brother looking out for you, makes me think he would make a good husband for somebody, not you. Whomever Sean chooses will feel like a princess. You've chosen Julian and he will continue to tear you down and make you feel inadequate, but you love him so it's worth the pain.
ReplyDeleteJust one more comment before I meet up with your archvillain, Julian. Sean is not looking out for her best interests. Who goaded Melissa into breaking up with Julian over a silly internet forum joke? Julian is a good man with some very strong opinions. If you can not cope with reading them, look away.
ReplyDeleteAlex, are you as scorchio as Julian....?
ReplyDeleteMelissa's absence is a bit noticeable, don't you think?
ReplyDeletewho cares about 'melissa'? It's Scorchio julian, Sweet Sean and Amicable Alex who have stolen the show!
ReplyDeleteYum.
ReplyDeleteI wish Julian and Alex would post more, and am hoping to hear sweet Sean's input soon would really dilute all this and make it somewhat palatable especially considering they scorchio, i think melissa is selfish monopolizing these fine specimens.
ReplyDeleteHey, Julian. How's it feel having to have a woman make a contract with the US government promising to financially support you? Bit of a blow to the old ego, what?
ReplyDeleteOh don't be mean, he's scorchio, so what if he is a kept man....a Manbo!
ReplyDeleteAnnie for Alex RE: "Sean is not looking out for her best interests. Who goaded Melissa into breaking up with Julian over a silly internet forum joke?"
ReplyDeleteSean doesn't want to see her hurt and belittled.
Sean = caring.
Sean doesn't want M for his GF. She has twisted it in her mind that he does, but I'd guess he's not interested. He dated her as a 16 year old girl for 4 months. Hardly worth remembering. M just wants ANYBODY to love her. She probably didn't get alot of unconditional doting over her as a child. Dad was busy working his way up to law partner. Mom is a doctor and likely gone all the time. Doesn't sound like an ooey gooey lovey family. So she feels rejected 9 years later because a teenage boy broke up with her. She feels rejected because she had a secret sexual fling with J's BFF Alex, who broke it off as soon as his real GF found out. She didn't know it was a fling. She thought the attention meant love. She still is clinging on to feelings for Sean, Noah, and Alex because she needs to feel loved.
(For those of you who tuned in late, Alex's fling wasn't over when it was "over". He flew to see her when she got rejected by Noah. A. told M. to stop blabbing, but she mentioned "what happened in Seattle" before she deleted that post.)
Alex slept with her again when he flew out to see her when she was upset after Noah?
ReplyDeleteI take it that Julian doesn't know about this, hence the "there are things better left unsaid, Julian could get hurt".
Alex indeed is a VERY GOOD friend LOL He is always there when needed :D
ReplyDeleteHope Julian enjoys a few drinks with him, they have so much to talk about :)
who is Noah? And who thinks up these names?
ReplyDeleteUm, I think Noah is a biblical name. Very popular these days.
ReplyDeleteNoah from the North, Sweet Sean, Amicable Alex and Scorchio Julian...Oh goodness! It's the 4 mouseketeers- all falling over themselves to offer aid and comfort to the fair damsel Melissa
ReplyDeleteI hear she's a great fuck, lol.
ReplyDeleteThat's the word on the net. Lucky Jules!
ReplyDelete"Melissa's absence is a bit noticeable"
ReplyDeleteShe's probably drunk and pilled up after her doctor's visit.
This is my favourite part of the internet.
Is this for real...?
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately for Pasadena, I think it is.
ReplyDeleteDammit, I want to hear from a pilled up Melissa!
ReplyDeleteWow, you Anonymous commenters are taking this thing too far. There's absolutely no reason to be this bitchy and mean to Melissa. She has said many times that she does get hurt by things said in the comments and you are ganging up on her laughing at her life which is just plain wrong. If you don't have anything constructive to say then don't post, especially if you're too cowardly to put a name to the post.
ReplyDeleteA blog with anonymous comments enabled - apparent trolling by the principal characters - much flaming by the anonymous masses - sounds like fair game to me. Publish and be damned!
ReplyDeleteMaking fun of morons on the internet is one of life's pleasures, and no-one is taking that away from me.
ReplyDelete"Making fun of morons on the internet is one of life's pleasures, and no-one is taking that away from me."
ReplyDeleteI agree. It's your god-given right to be a moron on the internet.
I don't understand what the point of even putting a name is. It's not like it's going to mean anything to anyone anyway.
ReplyDeleteI can't help reading this and think - wow - these two have massively overestimated what an RFE is. :(
ReplyDelete- Stephanie
Oh really Stephanie? Perhaps you would be so kind then to explain exactly what *our* RFE is. We haven't received it yet, so as far as we know it could be anything from 'you used the wrong shade of black ink' to an outright denial. But you seem to have some kind of inside knowledge. So since you're so knowledgeable, please do enlighten us. Don't be a tease now, share.
ReplyDeleteI am just commenting that this reaction to getting an RFE is blown out of proportion. If it was a denial - you wouldn't get an RFE - they would reject the package. Seems though - you guys are under a lot of stress and are running through the worst case scenarios in your head. Just breathe!
ReplyDelete- Steph
I need to find the time to write a post about this but I know what the RFE is about now. The hard copy just came in the mail. Obviously I need to call Julian first. This is my fault after all.
ReplyDeleteBets? I'm going with "Melissa accidentally used her invisible ink pen to fill out the forms."
ReplyDeleteMy bet is it's something totally easy to correct. Like they forgot to put "N/A" in a box that didn't apply to them. Who wants to bet it's not actually Melissa's fault?
ReplyDeleteAnd Julian, you would be sent a "NOID" (notice of intention to deny) if they were going to reject the case. They do not reject cases using RFEs. Don't tell us we don't even know what an RFE is (which you stated at July 1, 2010 9:49 AM) when we've all obviously come from VisaJourney and are very aware of the process. Seemingly more so than you and Melissa, who are freaking out about something that hardly delays your case.
What difference does it make whose "fault" it is? Gah! We were just having this conversation in my office yesterday. Blame is pointless and crucifying people in the name of "whodunit" accomplishes nothing! Just fix the problem and get on with the job!
ReplyDeleteJQ
Obviously it's nothing TOO bad because Melissa wouldn't have been so casual. She would've been running everywhere with:
ReplyDelete"Oh my GOD, I'm so sorry, Julian! I don't know what happened! I know I'll never make a good wife for you, I'm so sorry!"
I fecking *heart* this blog. This thread, specifically.
ReplyDeletedo do do do do do do anonymous, do do do do!
Me too!
ReplyDelete